As we rolled into Florida, Pink, tasteless, gut-wrenching, blossom-coloured buildings Adorn the sidewalks with big lettering And lopsided decor. Wide shopping strips full of Disney discounts Arouse passers by with promises of cheap thrills And bloated rollercoaster rides. Applebees, Taco Bell, Red Lobster and Krispy Kreme kiosks Make young mouths water and old wallets yawn… Continue reading Florida

Like mother like daughter

I've started donning flowery knee-length dresses, Reminiscent of Squires garden centres and Japanese cherry blossom, And I realise I'm turning into my mum. She likes floaty, bell-shaped gowns with kaleidoscopic floral patterns, The likes of which can be found in Monsoon, Oasis or Next, Where the flowers are on steroids. Be it tops, shirts, hats or skirts, Madge… Continue reading Like mother like daughter

The sun and old people and the madness of fashionable burning.

What is it with old people when they come on holiday. Mister, to achieve the shade of "pink" you've bravely opted for, You might as well have stuck your head inside an oven And roasted like a turkey. Put some sprouts around your mouth Stick some 'tatoes round your buttocks, And a pretty pink gobbler… Continue reading The sun and old people and the madness of fashionable burning.