I didn't realise this week would feel like a bowling alley. Where I'm the ten pins that keep getting battered and throttled by an imaginary ball.
Waiting for a text that's never going to come; waiting to be treated well; rushing to your phone; hoping it's him and then letting out a GROAN when it's just the family WhatsApp group.
Feeling swallowed my work; clawing your way through its belly like you're Pinocchio and the big whale. Burnt out and bulldozed.
When you like someone a lot and it's not reciprocated. Doing battle, shaving my legs, date-ready and then - boom - cancelled.
Loneliness and playing the game. What if I want out?
There's something to be said for sitting on rattan chairs and looking up at a tie-dyed sky. The same inky blue I saw in a dress earlier, the one I added to basket but never bought.
Tasteless words, bland conversations with overpriced cocktails at a below par bar in London. Slipping away at the end wondering why he wasn’t The One and when The One will show and will he show any time soon, yada yada yada.
We’ve all adopted new habits during lockdown – whether it’s working out or baking or journaling or pondering the meaning of life while we get to grips with Russian grammar. So if you’re in need of inspiration, below are 10 things I’ve found myself doing more and more as a result of lockdown in a bid to be a less shit human.
Most of us have been on plenty of video calls over the past twelve or so weeks, embracing this new communication medium with open arms. But it's not all peachy.
You used to make me mad with love, drunk on lust. And now you're sliding into my DMs, like nothing ever happened. This is a poem about realising you don't give a shit about the person who previously had a hold on you.