And with the bright lights churning out their boozy glow,
The bar standing empty, only a glass and a half and a hasty once-over
With an old rag
Voices pecking at other voices, toasts to the untoastworthy
A darting look over at us from a man twice my age
The older couple nearby, tucking into ribs and etching a slippery sauce onto their teeth and chins
It made me hungry.
But my brain was already fizzing from the large white wine spritzer
Which I’d ordered to blend in and be normal.
Dizzying highs and frantic lows, desperately trying not to drop my dignity
But also come across as the most beautiful, most interesting girl you’d ever met
(Oh the pressures of being me)
Out on a Saturday night for once in a blue moon
And I barely looked around me, barely soaked up the atmosphere
Barely present, in the moment, there.